PETA

The people over at PETA have to be the stupidest bunch of people on the planet. Who else could take a good idea, i.e. the protection of animals, and screw it up so badly that nobody with a brain takes them seriously?

For the few who don't know or haven't cared enough to know, PETA stands for "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals." I'd change it to META, for morons, though. Plus, it's ironic, because it turns into Meat if you rearrange it!

Personally, I agree with some of their fundamentals. Animals are great, and shouldn't be mistreated. I disagree with the "ZOMFG NUB GO VEGAN OR BERN IN HEL" aspect of them. You can look at pretty much anything on their homepage and either have your intelligence insulted or be disgusted.
Here are some examples of META being fakktards:

1) http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/about.asp
This is a petition to change the word "Fish" to "Sea Kitten". I am not kidding. And they say they have nearly 13,000 signatures. Imagine if everyone started using Sea Kitten instead of fish;
"There's plenty of Seakittens in the sea."
"I'm going Seakittening."
Fish-eye lense would become "Seakitten-eye lense". Imagine a director,
"Alright, for this scene, it's going to be in the point of view of the alien, so put in the seakitten-eye lense, and dim the lights."
And the Little Mermaid would make no sense. Imagine Sebastian's "Under the Sea" song. Here are the non-chorus parts with fish replaced by sea kitten:

Down here all the seakitten is happy
As off through the waves they roll
The seakitten on the land ain't happy
They sad 'cause they in their bowl
But seakitten in the bowl is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate

The ray he can play
The lings on the strings
The trout rockin' out
The blackseakitten she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' oh that blowseakitten blow

Seriously? And imagine all the fish with fish in their names. Pufferseakitten? Anglerseakitten? Mudseakitten? Damn, Peta. Marine Biologists won't be happy with the reclassifications.

2) This is an article about Obama owning a fly: http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE55H4Z220090618

The excerpt in question:

But now People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, calling it an "execution," wants the commander-in-chief to show a little more compassion to even "the least sympathetic animals."

"Believe it or not, we've actually been contacted by multiple media outlets wanting to know PETA's official response to the executive insect execution," a blog on the group's website explained. "In a nutshell, our position is this: He isn't the Buddha, he's a human being, and human beings have a long way to go before they think before they act."

The group has sent Obama a device that traps a fly so it can then be released outside.

"We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Freidrich explained.

Seriously? A fly? I bet every member of PETA has killed bugs. You're saying we should, instead of slapping a mosquito, capture it with a mechanism and release it somewhere else? Should we leave rotting meat outside our doorstep to help the poor little grubs, desparately clinging to life and trying to grow up to be a fly for a half of a month at the most before perishing, either from another predator or old age? You critisize Obama for swatting one of several trillion flies on this planet, but say nothing of Bush's war in Iraq? Hiroshima? Would you people take a bullet for a house cat? When did the life a fly become a higher priority than STOPPING A WAR? Christ, PETA!

3) http://www.peta.org/cooking-mama/index.asp

PETA has made a flash game based on Cooking Mama where you mutilate a turkey for a thanksgiving dinner. It's extremely disgusting and fails to make a point. The only thing I see here is some sick minded PETA member having too much fun portraying the gruesome treatment of a turkey. I'm kind of at a loss for words here. I mean, really? You made this for the shock value, period!

4) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_rights_and_the_Holocaust

They actually compared animals to the Holocaust. The. Freaking. Holocaust. WHAT THE FUCK? Have PETA completely forgotten everything about decency or the value of human life? That's a good campaign. "Jews are like animals. They're both killed a lot." I mean, for god's sake! In my opinion, the life a person is just a LITTLE more important than the life of a freaking chicken!

5) http://www.peta.org/featureBunniesiPhoneApp.asp

It's an iPhone app that checks if stores are cruel to animals. Which is funny, because it's not like every time Albertson's makes a sale, they kill a baby seal. Certain products that ALL COMPANIES GET are harmful to animals, while others, like LEGOS or VIDEOGAMES, have next to nothing to do with animals. And plus, the app isn't free. You have to pay if you want to help animals. What? That's right, the app is two dollars. You need to shell out two dollars for an app that'll tell you something you can find on google.

6) http://www.peta2.com/BreastsNotAnimalTests/game.asp

I don't even know what this is. Something about animals being used with breast cancer tests. PETA is obsessed with the sexy timez and the boobies. From their intentionally controversial Superbowl commercial, to a video game where you click on boobs, they are seriously sex crazed over there. Probably because they get none, being complete freaks. Here's another sex thing:
http://blog.peta.org/archives/2009/07/peta_cuties_bea.php

7) https://secure.peta.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1858

Sure, seals are cute and shouldn't be slaughtered. But seriously, they enjoy the descriptions way too much. Look at that picture. And listen to this,

Sealers routinely hook seals in the eye, cheek, or mouth to avoid damaging the pelt, then drag the seals across the ice, in many cases without checking to ensure that they are unconscious.

Baby seals stand no chance against club-wielding trappers, and they must look on as fellow pups are bludgeoned to death before meeting the same bloody fate. The anguish that a mother seal feels as she watches her baby being beaten to death just a few feet away from her is horrifying and can be heard in her desperate cries and seen in her attempts to get to her baby.

Did we really need to hear that? FFS.

Not to mention all the shock value videos of cows being slaughtered. I've decided that PETA are obsessed with sex and violence.

Those are seven examples of why PETA are nothing but a bunch of immature freaks who need to grow out of their five year old obsession with violence and whining, and do something productive that isn't disgusting.

Noah Kalina

This is the most beautiful video I've ever seen on YouTube. I feel like he's a part of me in the five minutes of pictures.

He's got a website, http://www.everyday.noahkalina.com/ , where he posts the ongoing pictures. I really can't imagine checking up on it daily to see the progress, but it's still an amazing project.

The progression of his aging is so gradual, you don't even notice it. But compare the first pictures with the last pictures, and look at the latest pictures on his website. It's stunning. Nobody notices this progression. You can't see the constant aging bringing you to the end. This is a documentary of life, and it gets the point across better than if Morgan Freeman was narrating it in full detail.

The Office

I don't have broadcast television. I don't have cable, dish, comcast, or even an antennae. I get my entertainment from rentals, video games, books, and the intrawabz.

My brother discovered "Hulu" a couple of months back. It's pretty neat. You've probably heard of it, you get to watch TV shows on the web. If not,

http://www.hulu.com/

check it out. So anyway. I've mostly used it to watch Family Guy, which is pretty much the only show I miss from TV. I'd probably watch some of South Park too if I had TV, but mostly Family Guy.

At school, I hear everyone talking about the Office. Everyone says it's their favorite show, and they make it sound like it's a laughter fountain.

So, today, I watched it on Hulu, and I'm sitting here going, "What the hell?"

I've watched two episodes, and between them, I've had two instances where I've physically laughed out loud. The show is faintly amusing, but it's overshadowed by shows that aren't even comedies. It isn't that funny, and I don't get why everybody loves it. Maybe it's because everyone at my school is Mormon, and they're deprived of funny shows like Family Guy? I don't know. But the Office doesn't deserve the kind of praise it gets, in my opinion.

The Candy Shop Wars/More crap aboot vidjagemes

I read the Candy Shop Wars recently (like, yesterday) and I liked it. Brandon Mull is a Utard (like me) writer, and he wrote the Fablehaven books, along with this stand alone novel. The book follows the seemingly standard template of having people involved in something bigger than them by the bad guys, and then they switch to the good guys. It's interesting how Brandon Mull's books all focus on children. This isn't uncommon, he's a children's author, but he writes about children in such a specific age group, which is around fifth grade.

Yeah. So I recommend it if you like fantasy and are looking for an easy read.

ENN EE WEY.

I got Mass Effect for the Xbox 360. It's pretty fun, but it seems almost... unfinished. There are no cinimatics, because the graphics are always amazing, but as a consequence of this, you can see the environment and people's bodies and stuff trying to quickly load into the detailed texture right in front of your eyes. It's kind of distracting as a space ship takes off to see the walls go from craggy gray to polished steel.

I've also been playing Final Fantasy X. It's also pretty fun, and I've had it for ages. If you've played it before, I've been stuck on the "Seymour Natus" stage. It's not even the final boss, but I had such difficulty with it. So I've restarted, and I've reached that point, so now I'm kind of nervous to progress to that point, because even the random encounters are really hard all of a sudden.

I've also signed up for Blizzard Betas. I'm hoping I'll get chosen for the Starcraft 2 beta, because that would be awesome, and the comic I submitted didn't win. D:


I will leave you with an updated version of my video game wishlist:

Bioshock 2
Assault on Dark Athena
Street Fighter 4
Modern Warfare 2
Starcraft 2
Resident Evil 5
Braid
Singularity

Mariokart

I liked Mariokart DS. It was fun, exciting, had great multiplayer, and was one of my first Nintendo DS games.

Now, several years later, Mariokart Wii comes along, toting everyone's favorite motion gimmick with the addition of a hunk of plastic shaped like a steering wheel for an electric gokart designed for six year olds that travels slower than just walking.

After swiftly giving up on the motion based hunk of crap that was the wiimote I downgraded to the Game Cube controller, and found it to be a much more enjoyable experience. It's got to say something about game and console design when using a controller from a previous generation means you beat the person using the fancy new technology designed a half a decade later hand over fist.

Leaving aside the game developers' insistence on using the newest Nintendo gimmick, the game is relatively fun. The controls on the Game Cube Controller are fluid and responsive, and the graphics are as decent as the Wii can get. So now you might be getting the assumption that I like Mariokart Wii. That's about as right as me saying that I like a bible thumping democrat. There are elements I like, and other elements that I just CAN'T STAND.

Full fledged races are one of those things. The game relies 95% on being lucky enough to get a red shell at the right time and 5% on being half decent at racing games. I have had repeated scenarios where I am ten miles in the lead of the race, and suddenly some asshat in last place gets a blue shell and shoots it at me, causing my bike to spin about and causing me to flail my arms around helplessly as every racer and their mother finishes the race.

Now that we're on the subject of bikes, I'd like to stay on it for a moment. I like the bikes, and I think they're great addition. But now that I have bikes, I can't imagine ever wanting to ever go back to karts, because bikes are far superior in the forementioned 5% where you actually race. This also completely alienates me from ever playing any other Mariokart game other than Mariokart Wii, because every time I try to get anywhere in a kart playing Mariokart DS, I slam into the nearest wall because I look funny at the drift button.

Another thing that I can't stand aboot Mariokart Wii is the level design. The people who created Wario's Mine and Rainbow Road and half of the other maps must have been shooting heroin while popping antidepressants with a barrel of wine while clubbing themselves over the head with a bat covered in an IQ destroying virus. The over emphasis on being lucky enough to not have the malevolent god of that track decide that it would be hilarious for you to be crushed by an unnecessary weight placed in an otherwise empty location is completely mind boggling. What were they thinking? Did they think it was FUN to fall into a pit fifty times in a row while the entire population of the Nintendo Universe races past, effortlessly bouncing across the ten mile expanse of two centimeter wide platforms?

Which brings up the question of, WHY THE HELL ARE THEY RACING THROUGH THESE PLACES? There is no plot to this game, unless the plot is watching me destroy my Wii in frustration. These people are hurling banana peels and shells that somehow can tell the difference between first place and second place and fly and picking up boxes that cause you to become a huge bullet for NO REASON.

Webcomics

I hope you didn't blink at all while you were staring at my awesome picture.

I like webcomics. Because they're free comic books. YEY

Here's a list of webcomics I check regularly:
The Order of the Stick - http://www.giantitp.com/Comics.html
Thinkin' Lincoln - http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/
The Slackers - http://theslackerz.com/
Penny Arcade - http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/
The Warehouse - http://www.warehousecomic.com/
Cyanide and Happiness - http://www.explosm.net/
El Goonish Shive - http://www.egscomics.com/
Digitial Unrest - http://digitalunrestcomic.com/index.php
Dueling Analogs - http://www.duelinganalogs.com/
Ctrl-Alt-Del - http://cad-comic.com/comic.php
Buttersafe - http://buttersafe.com/
Questionable Content - http://questionablecontent.net/
xkcd - http://xkcd.com/
Weregeek - http://www.weregeek.com/
Amazing Super Powers - http://www.amazingsuperpowers.com/
Thingpart - http://www.jsayers.com/thingpart/thingpart.html
VG Cats - http://www.vgcats.com/comics/
Subnormality - http://www.viruscomix.com/subnormality.html
2P Start - http://www.2pstart.com/


And that's only half of the ones I used to read. I won't list the ones I lost interest in. ;)

So I recommend them all to look into. But, why the hell would I put them on my blog if I didn't recommend them? I mean, srsly, gyz.

I also check four movie sites regularly:
Smosh - http://www.smosh.com/
Cinemassacre/AVGN - http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/
Zero Punctuation - http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation
Weebl's Stuff - http://www.weebls-stuff.com/


Yeeeeup. there ya go. I might actually critique each of those individually. But mebbe not. If I do, it'll be screenshoteriffic! :D

Last thing. Here are the two blogs I read:

B(labber)log - http://phailpants.blogspot.com/
//Commented - http://miky.comyr.com/

Call of Duty 4

I like Call of Duty 4. A lot. Probably more than is healthy.
I sleep with its CD case.
I'm passing a bill to marry software.
I've signed it forty four trillion times in my blood.

Just kidding. I'm not that obsessed. And you believed me. HA! Ha ha haaaa.... Stupid blog reader. No, I'm kidding! Please keep reading!
Ha! You thought I cared! Ha ha haaaa.... Stupid blog reader. No, I kid. I kid. (That's a double negative! :D)

But I do like it. I play the multiplayer daily, and I beat the Single Player in about 2 days. But I didn't skip school to play it or anything. The story was actually really short.

It seems like a lot of video games are like that these days. I feel that games such as Halo 2&3 and COD4 have really short story modes. Is this because I play them obsessively? You might say that, you jerk. But I don't. Apparently the focus is on the multiplayer, which makes a little sense, but cutting out hours of game play kind of alienates people without Xbox Live.

Here's a funneh picture. STARE AT IT UNTIL MY NEXT BLOG POST COMES AROUND.